Category Archives: travesty

Everything Old is Still Old

My head is still reeling from the announcement that Arnold Schwarzenegger is going to revise his role as Conan.  Al Harron has covered this more eloquently than I can, so I’ll defer you to his remarks

Instead, I want to take a slightly different approach and say this:  Really, Hollywood?  Really?  This is the best you can do?  Trot out an actor who is too old for the role, to play a character who was never anywhere near that old in any of the stories Howard wrote.

What you have here, ladies and gentlemen, aliens and Old Ones, is a perfect case of why box office reciets in general are dropping.  Hollywood can’t do anything but recycle itself.  A more appropriate metaphor would probably be breed with itself.  We all know what sort of thing results from that, which is a good description of what Hollywood tends to churn out rather than coming up with something original.

At least take a fresh script (preferably written by someone who will be faithful to more than the “spirit” of Howard’s most famous creation) and keep Jason Mamoa.  He fits the description of Conan much better than the Governator does.

I suppose that’s too much to hope for, as is this being a sick (and scary, very scary) Halloween joke.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go burn incense to the gods of Development Hell.  Much incense.