Charles Beaumont

Today, January 2, is the birthday of Charles Beaumont (1929-1967). If there was an episode of the original Twilight Zone that stuck in your head when you say it, chances are good Beaumont wrote it.

Mentored by Ray Bradbury, Beaumont would have been a major writer if he had lived. He died from early onset Alzheimer’s or something very much like it. Beaumont, like Bradbury, was primarily a short story writer, although he wrote a number of movie scripts.

In observance of his birthday, I read “Free Dirt”. This story is currently available in Perchance to Dream.

This is a story in which a not very sympathetic protagonist gets what he deserves. Mr. Aorta likes free things. He has no ethics or morals where free things are concerned. One evening on his way home, he sees a sign outside cemetery that says FREE DIRT.

When he investigates, he discovers that he can have as much as he wants, as long as there is some available. Dirt becomes available when someone dies and is buried, in case you’re wondering.

Mr. Aorta bullies his neighbor into letting him borrow the neighbor’s truck every weekend to haul dirt, which he uses to put a garden into his yard. Mr. Aorta had sent away for some free seeds a couple of years ago, you see.

When the vegetables are ready to be harvested, well, I’ll let you read the story.

Beaumont is a writer aspiring writers should study.