Cyril Kornbluth (1923-1958) was born on this date, July 23. He died of a heart attack. Had he lived, he probably would have become the editor of The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction.

Kornbluth was extremely cynical, something that was quite obvious from his work. But he also had a great sense of humor. An excellent example is the story I read in honor of his birth, “The Education of Tigress McCardle”. It was first published in the July 1957 issue of Venture Science Fiction Magazine. I have no idea why it wasn’t included in The Best of C. M. Kornbluth. It is one of his best.

There are several things going on in this story. Some rube who talks like a hick has been elected president, and the Constitution has been changed to make him king. Meanwhile, a Chinese merchant on the West Coast has decided it’s time to revive the Yellow Peril and reinvents himself as the new Fu Manchu. He manages to get a parental licensing measure implemented and makes the king think it’s his idea.

This is all backstory.

George McCardle is enjoying a Why Buy The Cow When You Can Get The Milk For Free situation with his girlfriend Tigress Moone, when she says “George, why don’t we..” and they get married. She says “George, why don’t we…” a few more times, and the next thing George knows, he’s living in suburbia and his wife is wanting a baby.

George isn’t sure just how the red tape is handled on getting permission to have a child. George is an editor at the Civil War Book of the Week Club, and he is having trouble with one of his authors. They have regular screaming matches. George makes the mistake of telling this particular author about his troubles. The author keeps a straight face when he tells George where to go and how to get the license.

The next morning George and Tigress go to the appropriate office where they discover there are no forms or interviews, no background checks or medical exams. They are given a robot toddler.

Chaos ensues, related in a very dark and humorous style. Kornbluth skewers mid-Twentieth Century suburban life, academia, writers, women, and just about everything else he can cram into his tale. All of the events are being observed through a time viewer by university students in the 22nd Century with occasional comments by the professor.

I thoroughly enjoyed this story. I had forgotten how much humor it had. It couldn’t be published today for no other reason than how Kornbluth presents the women in the story.

“The Education of Tigress McCardle” is currently only in print in His Share of Glory: The Complete Short Science Fiction of C. M. Kornbluth. Looking at the ToC ov this issue of Venture on the ISFDB, I’m going to have to track down some of those issues. It looks like there are some good stories in there that haven’t been reprinted.