Today, June 25, is the birthday of Charles Sheffield (1935-2002). Sheffield combined hard science with a sense of wonder and an ability to create unique and fascinating characters. He was adept at both shorter and novel lengths. It’s a shame that’s he’s falling into obscurity. Not all of his short fiction has been collected, and I would love for someone to publish a definitive collection.
In addition to writing some pretty serious stuff, he could also do humor. Today’s story being a good example.
“Fifteen-Love on the Dead Man’s Chest” is one of the tales of Waldo Burmeister and Henry Carver. I read this one (reread actually) in Georgia on My Mind, a general collection of stories. All of the Burmeister and Caver stories can be found in Space Suits: Being the Selected Legal Papers of Waldo Burmeister and Henry Carver, Attorneys-at-Law, as Transcribed and Edited by Henry Carver, LL.B., and with a Special Introduction by Waldo P. Burmeister, LL.B. (There is no electronic edition. Copies are available on ABE for under $20; the listing on Amazon is nearly $800.)
To get an idea of what these stories are like think of a science fictional combination of screwball comedy and P. G. Wodehouse, told in a delightfully dry narration. The stories were suggested by Sheffield’s children, are very politically incorrect, and often deal with bodily functions that fascinate children. They are a heck of a lot of fun.
Burmeister and Carver are lawyers on the Moon. In this particular caper, Burmeister, who is rather…rotund has house guests, his two aunts and their husbands. One husband is there to compete in a tennis tournament. The other is there for a mortician’s convention. Carver is small and scrawny. This is relevant to what happens in the story.
As the story opens, our heroes are visited by a law enforcement agent who as the power to require them to help him. His problem is this. A man with a criminal past has arrived on the Moon from the outer solar system claiming to have an immortality treatment, a man who is dead. Carver is recruited to attend the funeral and keep an eye out for any nefarious types who may still be looking for the as yet unfound immortality treatment.
The problem is an invitation is required to attend the funeral. Carver has dinner with Burmeister and his family in order to get an invitation via the mortician uncle. While there, the tennis playing uncle browbeats Burmeister into becoming his doubles partner since his regular partner is injured.
Of course it’s not going to be that simple. Hijinks and comedic errors abound.
Check this one out. These stories might not be for everybody, but if they’re your thing, the collected stories are available, as note above.